[$999.99]
If a Segway banged a scooter that was actually a transformer in disguise, would that constitute assault by deception? I don't know, but the result would be the Kiwano Electric Scooter. Driven by a 1000W hub motor capable of 20 miles an hour speeds, this scooter is capable of hauling even the fattests bastards over a 20 mile range, with a maximum carry weight of 550lbs. That's roughly the weight of Andre the Giant...when he wasn't dead.
