[$19.99]
I'm always shaving my beard all wonky, and no amount of elaborate mirror arrangement ever seems to help. I could shave it all off, but my youthful face means I become an instant legal prey for the local nonces. Thankfully I’ll now be able to avoid such a sticky end with the Beard Bro. This shaping tool helps you trim either long or short beards with precision. Isn’t that good? Although the name sucks a bit. I’d have called it the Hyper Glide Precision Beard Radar Cyber Slice Pro 4 With Extra Twin Prongs.

[$18.98] / [£10.95]
Ever wanted to glass a stranger in the face but not really? Well now you can with these Unbreakable Silicone Pint Glasses. Laugh in someone’s stupid face as you ram this bendy booze holder into their frightened maw. Made out of the kind of high-quality silicone you’d previously only find inside a stripper’s tits, these glasses can be stored in your pocket, frozen, rewashed, set on fire, pushed into a wombat, used to store urine, and so much more. They’re available in transparent white or opaque red. If you want any other colors, tough shit.

[$74.22]
When taking a game of Beer Pong on the road it can be annoying when the cups slide all over the place, especially if you’ve pitched up at a funeral and accidentally drenched the corpse with precious alcohol. Sucking booze from a dead man’s suit is no way to spend an afternoon, but now you don’t have to worry about this completely fictitious scenario with the Truck Bed Beer Pong Table. If you own a truck, and we’re assuming you do, you can fit this to the rear with ease and be ready to party wherever the hell you are. Beaches, Barbecues, Child Beauty Pageants – all are made better by the presence of a drunken truck driver shouting “Who wants to play beer pong!”

[$18.39] / [£12.99]
The definition of Netflix and Chill is to invite someone over to have sex under the premise of watching TV. The definition of Netflix and Grill is to involve grilled objects in this equation, which may or may not already be part of your sex life depending on what you’re into. Coming in both vegan and delicious animal varieties, these pan-packed ready meals can be thrown straight under the grill and your food will be done in the time it takes to get bored of Orange is the New Black – 8 minutes. This service isn’t available everywhere yet so don’t get too excited, but you’ll know when it’s come to your area as it will be marked by a sudden surge of lazy fat bastards getting heart attacks.

[$35.99]
Alcohol should always be drunk from the correct vessel, otherwise you look like a dick. Whiskey should be from a simple glass tumbler, champagne from a flute, tequila from a shot glass, and Coors from a tramp’s shoe found under a bridge. If you’re enjoying a Moscow Mule however, you simply must drink them from these delightful Mini Moscow Mule Shot Glasses. They’re made from copper, which helps to keep your drink cold and your appearance hipstery. Only one of those things is useful, but the deliciousness of an ice cold mule more than makes up for anything else.

[$22.95] / [£19.99]
Despite looking like something birthed after a bong fucked a teapot, the Porron Drinks Decanter is actually a rather elegant piece of glassware which is quite popular in the Catalan region of Spain. So there. Made from recycled glass and capable of storing 1litre of wine, Kool-Aid or urine, the point of a Porron is to allow drinkers to gulp straight from the decanter without getting each other’s gross mouth germs all over the rim. And nobody likes getting germs on the rim, do they?

[$23] / [£16.99]
From the author of Bathing in Wine, Shaving with Milk and Dancing in Pepsi comes this astounding new book - Cooking With Beer. This essential collection of beer-based bites contains 75 spectacular recipes using a range of beers including instructions for beer sandwiches, beer tacos, beer cakes, beer frittatas and probably some kind of beer beer. I don’t know, I haven't read it, all I know is I wholeheartedly approve of new ways to get myself drunk.

[$13] / [£9.99]
This book, How To Live With A Huge Penis, is often mistakenly purchased by those with an annoying roommate, but no, this epic tome is actually more of a useful guide for those men who are considerably endowed in the trouser department. I myself have a penis so small it's practically inverted, but even I found this book riveting, as it illuminates readers on the unexpected benefits of having a large member, the everyday life of a chap with a chunky chopper, and the oft-ignored persecution blokes with big dicks face on a daily basis. Also it's written by a Doctor and a Reverend, and if there are two professions which know more about penises than medics and the clergy, then I haven't heard of them.

[$19.99]
Hand carved from Baltic birchwood and laser etched to precision, these Don't Fuck Up The Table Coasters actually serve several useful purposes. First of all, they help keep your table free from the scuffs and stains associated with beverage containers. Secondly, they remind you not to fuck up the table via other means, such as with hammers or a gamma-ray gun. And thirdly, they allow you to passively aggressively tell your friends you don't trust them around your home, except without the awkward silence which usually accompanies such a statement. Oh, also Amazon claims they're a great conversation piece too. But if this is seriously the kind of thing you'd consider having a whole conversation about, I'd say you need better friends bub.

[$39.99]
Oak-aged alcohol is often rather expensive, and if you're too cheap to buy it then your only way of achieving that smoky booze aftertaste is to enter a burning building while downing a pint. But fortunately for you smoke aficionados there's now a solution, and it comes in the form of this Oak Bottle Mini Master Infuser. Capable of infusing 355ml of booze with an oaky taste in as little as two hours, this vessel made from 100% American Oak promises to improve bourbon, rum, beer, BBQ sauce and any other liquids you fancy by adding an ultra quick burst of charred oak flavour and aroma. And yes, I suppose you could try it with urine.