[$10.24] / [£7.12]
If people in your office are seriously starting to piss you off then you’ve got two options. Intimidate them by turning up to work in full body armour waving a Glock pistol and screaming “Death To The West!”, or buy this Co-Workers I Want To Punch In The Face Notebook. You’ll notice this notebook is quite specific about punching your enemies in the face. If you want to hit Carol from accounts straight in the groin with a swift tactical uppercut…you’re gonna need a different notebook. But if Chad from HR keeps on stealing your lunch / desk / organs…then it’s time to write that shit down.

[$13] / [£9.99]
This book, How To Live With A Huge Penis, is often mistakenly purchased by those with an annoying roommate, but no, this epic tome is actually more of a useful guide for those men who are considerably endowed in the trouser department. I myself have a penis so small it's practically inverted, but even I found this book riveting, as it illuminates readers on the unexpected benefits of having a large member, the everyday life of a chap with a chunky chopper, and the oft-ignored persecution blokes with big dicks face on a daily basis. Also it's written by a Doctor and a Reverend, and if there are two professions which know more about penises than medics and the clergy, then I haven't heard of them.

[£8]
If you've ever seen a large concrete structure and thought "christ that is one ugly bastard building", then chances are you've encountered the movement known as Brutalism. Brutalist architecture flourished between the 1950's and 1970's, and some of London's most god-awful examples have been lovingly documented in this, the Blue Crow Map of Brutalist London. So for the worst day out you've ever had in your life, why not pick up a copy and depress yourself beyond tablets with some of the most intimidating architecture England's capital city has to offer.

[$12.32] / [£9.99]
What would you do if your organs suddenly fell out of your body? How would you react if Jesus came back to life and called you a prick? I don't know, and neither do the authors of the Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook. But what they will tell you is how to survive an alligator attack, what to do if you're trapped in quicksand, and the easiest method of removing a tongue that is stuck to a frozen pole. There are also a few wackier ones too, such as how to escape from a giant octopus, and what you should do if a man in a costume is being over-affectionate. And if you're too lazy to read books like a great big nark then just look up the answers on the searchable CD provided with it.

[$15.59] / [£11.99]
Pornogami Pornographic Origami is a great gift for someone you haven't slept with yet, but whose genitals you'd really love to get a look at...albeit in paper form. It comes with 128 pages of erotic instructions for making paper penises, tracing paper tits and foaming great cardboardfannies, and makes a great gift for both adults and children alike. Except children.

[$13.59] / [£13.49]
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is intended as an antidote to those corny self-help books that tell you how to find your inner goddess by shoving plums up your arse. Written by a blogger so you know it's dead good, this book claims to help you cut through the crap and stop being so damn positive all the time. I mean, being positive can be hard work I guess. Just ask Charlie Sheen.

[$44.99]
If I had one of these Wipebook Reusable Notebooks I'd try to erase the last ten years of my life, because they've been nothing but an abject failure. The pages of this notebook are covered in hypergloss film enabling you to smear away your errors like so many accidental pregnancies, and with plenty of options including ruled pages, large sizes and egg-scented (discontinued), you're sure to find a Wipebook Reusable Notebook to match your permanently soiled soul.

[$12.79] / [£9.99]
Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books we had as kids? They always ended up taking you on a magical journey through enchanted kingdoms, haunted houses and futuristic spaceships. Man they were good. But has anyone ever made one where instead of all that, you got taken in by a brutal cult and molested with a cucumber? They have now, with this book that answers the question "Which Cult Shall I Join?" Scientologist? Mormon? Worshipper of the Devil's Colon? Find out which cult you should join today.

[$11.35] / [£12.99]
Do you need to learn Astrophysics in a Hurry? Why? Seriously, why would you need to do that? I dunno, to look smart at parties and get laid? Oh, good answer. I guess you'll need this book by Neil DeGrasse Tyson then, as it helps you to understand the nature of time, space and the universe even if you're proper thick like my cousin Philip. Related to neither Mike Tyson or Neil Buchanan, the author of this easy astrophysics guide is "a well smart bloke" according to Stephen Hawking, who I just asked right now because he's my mate. And everyone knows wheelchair guys don't lie, so I suppose you have to buy it now.

[$199]
The Pup Pocket Scanner is a small, wireless scanner capable of capturing images and text on the go. Seen some interesting toilet graffiti? Break out the Pup. Weird stain on your shorts? The Pup will snap a shot. Literally anything that is scannable can be scanned with the scantastic scanning abilities of the Pup Pocket Scanner. And the best part is, if you accidentally leave it on all day, you'll come home to 3,945,985,472 pictures of your pocket. Hooray!

[$22.33] / [£6.99]
Are you done words all a broken time? Try write a thing go wrong bad? Sort fix make with grammar book here this. I spented school time fingered back of class. Learn bits but not much. Now I get help from thanks to Grammar: Know Your Sh*t or Know You're Sh*t, it clever book make brain better good learn write. Super cool words inside. I are professor nao.