[$9.95]
Some people call them cookies, others call them biscuits. What we all agree on is that circular discs of chocolatey crumbly goodness taste even better when dunked in milk, coffee or tea. Unfortunately the United Nations recently declared losing half your cookie in a drink as a war crime, but thankfully the Dunking Buddy is here to help. Using a revolutionary technology described as “magnets or some shit”, this device can be attached to the cup included or any standard household cup to ensure you never lose a single morsel of cookie. It’s also proudly made in the USA, for any of you snackfood racists out there.

[$89.97]
As summer approaches the last thing you want to drink is a massive hot mug of steaming coffee, because that'll make you sweat all the water out of your god damn body. But if you're still hankering for an injection of caffeine you could drink a glass of coke like a non-idiot, or you could use the My Dutch Cold Coffee Brew Maker to create a delicious glass of cold brew coffee. Using an innovative clean cold water drip method the My Dutch extracts new flavours from coffee which you wouldn't get from hot brewing, and comes in both 350ml and 550ml varieties, so there.

[$19.99]
Hand carved from Baltic birchwood and laser etched to precision, these Don't Fuck Up The Table Coasters actually serve several useful purposes. First of all, they help keep your table free from the scuffs and stains associated with beverage containers. Secondly, they remind you not to fuck up the table via other means, such as with hammers or a gamma-ray gun. And thirdly, they allow you to passively aggressively tell your friends you don't trust them around your home, except without the awkward silence which usually accompanies such a statement. Oh, also Amazon claims they're a great conversation piece too. But if this is seriously the kind of thing you'd consider having a whole conversation about, I'd say you need better friends bub.

[$24.98]
What are your favourite smells? Wet dog. New car. Post Coital Disappointment? Well that's a shame, because Cool Material don't make craft candles that smell of any of those things (yet). But they do make ones that smell of Coffee and Cigarettes, Tobacco Humidor, Barber Shop and Public Library. So if you've ever wanted your home to stink of Nescafe, smokes, hair and old lady urine you're in for a ruddy treat you are. Since they're 16 ounces each these candles will last for approximately "a period of time" and they're made from soy wax, so if you're vegan you can eat them, if you want. I'm honestly not bothered mate. Do what you want with them.

[$19.95]
Do you want to get trashed in your living room but you're sick of using your hands to hold beer like a sucker? Then the

[$12.79] / [£9.99]
Nobody really likes fudge; it's just the easiest thing to buy when you've forgotten to get your mum a present on holiday. But this F*cking Strong Coffee Fudge is something else. Containing a blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica beans, one bite of this coffee flavoured sugary milk-blob will perk you right up. And if it doesn't, there's always bath salts.

[$12.79] / [£9.99]
Too much of a pussy to drink coffee? Try this Wake The F*ck Up Tea then, you absolute nancy. Containing enough leaves for 50 cups (100 if you're a trog), this delightful blend of black tea comes infused with ginger and other natural flavours. Unlike coffee it won't make you shit yourself five minutes after drinking, but just like coffee it will wake you the f*ck up.

[$FREE]
If our grandparents knew that one day we'd 3D print a device to help us drink sugary water while playing 18 hours of video games, they'd have not bothered fighting any wars and probably shot themselves instead. This Nintendo Switch Joy Con Drink Holder is the pinnacle of human laziness, as not only does it allow you to play your Switch and drink at the same time, but you don't even have to get up to buy it. All the files you need to 3D print this bitch are available online. And if you haven't got a 3D printer, just put some concrete in your regular printer. I'm sure it'll work.

[$13.09] / [£9.99]
How long would you be willing to wait for a coffee? A minute? Five minutes? Several f**king months? If it's the latter then great, you should buy this Coffee to Grow kit and find something to do for the best part of a year. Containing one massive Arabica Nana bean and a bunch of biodegradeable shite, after a few months you can wazz this cup in the ground and voila, out will come a coffee plant. Now all you need is a cow for the milk. Good luck growing that out of a mug you daft arse.

[$44]
There's just something about a brown bag lunch that makes whatever you're eating more delicious. But if you're still taking your lunch to work in this manner when you're 40, people might start to wonder where you are on the spectrum. This Marlowe Lunch Bag is a reusable and less spazzy version of the classic brown bag, made out of altogether classier waxed canvas. Waterproof, closed with a fold and coming with a single exterior pocket, you could probably carry soup in this and eat it straight from the bag if you wanted.

[$23.95]
This mug says "probably whiskey" on it, which is supposed to imply that you have a drinking problem and that whatever you're slurping, it's probably whiskey. Get it? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ohhh my. I think I've just soiled myself laughing at this incredible joke, and I can guarantee the liquid coming out of my body is most certainly not whiskey. Made of enamel, this mug can hold 16 ounces of coffee, whiskey, tears or horse piss. And you'd better buy one quick, because judging by the fact that this company's only other products are hot sauce and a Probably Beer mug, they're sure to probably go out of business probably soon.

[$13.95]
Until now, the only things you could drink in the shower were shower water, bubble bath, shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, shower gel or your own urine, blood and tears. However, this choice of bathtime beverages has now been expanded to everything ever, thanks to the SipCaddy Bathtime Cupholder. This handly little bastard sticks to your wall and can hold bottles, cups, cans and really big eggs probably. Although it's not intended for use with glass, but that shouldn't stop a renegade bath-drinker like you!