[$9.95]
Some people call them cookies, others call them biscuits. What we all agree on is that circular discs of chocolatey crumbly goodness taste even better when dunked in milk, coffee or tea. Unfortunately the United Nations recently declared losing half your cookie in a drink as a war crime, but thankfully the Dunking Buddy is here to help. Using a revolutionary technology described as “magnets or some shit”, this device can be attached to the cup included or any standard household cup to ensure you never lose a single morsel of cookie. It’s also proudly made in the USA, for any of you snackfood racists out there.

[$18.98] / [£10.95]
Ever wanted to glass a stranger in the face but not really? Well now you can with these Unbreakable Silicone Pint Glasses. Laugh in someone’s stupid face as you ram this bendy booze holder into their frightened maw. Made out of the kind of high-quality silicone you’d previously only find inside a stripper’s tits, these glasses can be stored in your pocket, frozen, rewashed, set on fire, pushed into a wombat, used to store urine, and so much more. They’re available in transparent white or opaque red. If you want any other colors, tough shit.

[$35.89] / [£34.99]
Whether you’re in the late stages of Parkinson’s Disease or you’re just a stupid clumsy shit, these Mighty Pint Glasses will prevent you spilling a single drop of precious precious booze ever again. The Mighty Pint Glasses are made out of plastic and contain Smartgrip Technology, which is something we may see installed in sex robots of the future someday. Smartgrip Tech enables these glasses to grip to any flat surface when knocked from the side, but without preventing you from picking them up. Because that would be stupid. And cruel. And stupid.

[$35.99]
Alcohol should always be drunk from the correct vessel, otherwise you look like a dick. Whiskey should be from a simple glass tumbler, champagne from a flute, tequila from a shot glass, and Coors from a tramp’s shoe found under a bridge. If you’re enjoying a Moscow Mule however, you simply must drink them from these delightful Mini Moscow Mule Shot Glasses. They’re made from copper, which helps to keep your drink cold and your appearance hipstery. Only one of those things is useful, but the deliciousness of an ice cold mule more than makes up for anything else.

[$22.95] / [£19.99]
Despite looking like something birthed after a bong fucked a teapot, the Porron Drinks Decanter is actually a rather elegant piece of glassware which is quite popular in the Catalan region of Spain. So there. Made from recycled glass and capable of storing 1litre of wine, Kool-Aid or urine, the point of a Porron is to allow drinkers to gulp straight from the decanter without getting each other’s gross mouth germs all over the rim. And nobody likes getting germs on the rim, do they?

[$19.99]
Hand carved from Baltic birchwood and laser etched to precision, these Don't Fuck Up The Table Coasters actually serve several useful purposes. First of all, they help keep your table free from the scuffs and stains associated with beverage containers. Secondly, they remind you not to fuck up the table via other means, such as with hammers or a gamma-ray gun. And thirdly, they allow you to passively aggressively tell your friends you don't trust them around your home, except without the awkward silence which usually accompanies such a statement. Oh, also Amazon claims they're a great conversation piece too. But if this is seriously the kind of thing you'd consider having a whole conversation about, I'd say you need better friends bub.

[$32.49] / [£24.99]
Worried that you're not eating enough Himalayan salt? Me too. It costs me thousands every year just to trek up those mountain bastards to have a lick of a bit of rock. But thankfully I need do this no longer, because some clever sod has made these Himalayan Salt Shot Glasses. The glasses come arranged in a decorative Acacia wood serving board, and every sip of vodka, whiskey or milk you slurp out comes be infused with a subtle salty flavour. So if you've always wanted your drinks to taste like someone's spooged right into them, this is the product for you!

[$19.95]
Do you want to get trashed in your living room but you're sick of using your hands to hold beer like a sucker? Then the

[$25.59] / [£19.99]
Whiskey tastes better when there's a bullet jammed in the glass you're drinking it from. That's just a stone cold fact. So I suppose that's why this Bulletproof Whiskey Glass exists, with a real .308 calibre bullet wedged right in there on the side. You could try and make one of these at home if you wanted. It's super easy. I managed to lodge a bullet into a glass last week. I say glass, it was my neighbour's skull. And I say bullet, it was an axe. And I say last week, I plan to do it tomorrow. But still, isn't it a nice glass?

[$10.97] / [£2.99]
Drinking large amounts of alcohol is a fun hobby with zero known consequences. The only downside is that when you're sinking suds from a big-ass tankard, the rim of your glass stops you looking at stuff. Whether it's the TV, a nude human or a cool explosion, the act of drinking beer will obscure your view. But no more, thanks to this TV Compatible Beer Glass. Made out of plastic, this container's sloped rim ensures you'll never miss another naked mudwrestling match due to beer ever again.

[$78] / [£52]
Do you know why the Vikings were so badass and cruel? Easy. They were perpetually drunk. When you can't put down your beer because it's stored inside a giant horn, you have no choice but to sink those suds and fill her up again. And now you can relive the Viking life for yourself with one of these Hand Carved Drinking Horns available on Etsy. Prices vary from $70 to $3,000 depending on how shit / good you want your horn to be. But really, you can't put a price on something this fancy. As soon as you start drinking from one of these horns you'll feel a sudden urge to commit unspeakable atrocities upon coastal towns and villages. How can you resist?