[$189] / [£130]
If you offered me a Floyd Leg for $189 I’d probably assume you meant one of Mayweather’s, and to be honest I’d pay double to see that man in a wheelchair. However the Floyd Leg is actually a clever piece of thinking that allows you to turn any flat surface into a table. This kit comprises of four powder coated metal legs which clamp on to any surface to make a table. 29 inches high, they are simple, portable, and require no tools to attach. So now you can make a dinner table from Grandma’s gravestone, just like you always wanted.

[$40]
Have you ever looked at a spoon and thought…I wish I could eat that? No me neither, but I am constantly wondering how I can somehow consume more calories with less effort. Thankfully this Edible Spoon Maker solves both problems! The machine works like a waffle maker, allowing you to slop in any kind of dough you want and form an edible spoon in mere minutes. If only there was some kind of machine that made plates out of gravy, then we’d get to eat all our dinnerware and never need do dishes again. Quit dicking around trying to cure cancer scientists and get on this!

[$39.99]
Oak-aged alcohol is often rather expensive, and if you're too cheap to buy it then your only way of achieving that smoky booze aftertaste is to enter a burning building while downing a pint. But fortunately for you smoke aficionados there's now a solution, and it comes in the form of this Oak Bottle Mini Master Infuser. Capable of infusing 355ml of booze with an oaky taste in as little as two hours, this vessel made from 100% American Oak promises to improve bourbon, rum, beer, BBQ sauce and any other liquids you fancy by adding an ultra quick burst of charred oak flavour and aroma. And yes, I suppose you could try it with urine.

[$22.09] / [£16.99]
If you were hoping for a book where people put their penises into ground meat then you'll be sorely disappointed in the Pornburger Recipe Book, as there's not a single quarter pounder creampie or whipped patty bukkake to be seen. However, what you will find in here is 300 plus pages of delicious burger-based recipes courtesy of self-described burger nonce Mathew Ramsey. I suppose you could just draw boobs on the burgers if you're desperate.

[$45]
Who needs stupid electricity anyway? That's what I always say. Because of electricity we can't take toasters in baths, we have to run away when lightning happens, and we've lost some of the world's most enchanting serial killers. I hate electricity so much. So I'm really glad that this Jollylook Cardboard Vintage Camera eschews the use of power and allows you to take photographs using nothing more than cardboard and some holes. It works using Instax film and its body is entirely comprised of recycled materials, so as well as taking pictures you can be a right smug prick about it too.

[£5.45]
Do you know what's funny? Like, what's seriously the funniest thing ever to do ever in the whole world ever? Telling someone who is old...that they are old. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh god just thinking about it made me laugh all of the fun -guts out of my body. These S**t Ur Old Candles are the perfect way to achieve this. Just pop them on the birthday boy or girl's cake, light them, step back, and wait for hilarity to ensure. If laughter fails to be aroused, simply make a list of all the famous people who were dead at your age. That'll show em.

[$22]
This Japanese Fish-shaped Hot Cake Maker can be used to create Taiyaki, which are fish-shaped waffles that you can fill with anything from red bean paste, custard, chocolate and cheese through to broken glass, nails, excrement and bleach, depending on who you're serving and how much you hate them. Made from non-stuck aluminium, there are two molds inside this pan, allowing you to make one serving for a normal person, six for someone on a diet, and 0.004 servings for a greedy fat bastard.

[$195]
If you’re stood drinking out of a regular midget-sized can and your friend is downing beer straight from a ManCan, you’re going to look like a bit of a knob. Not affiliated in any way with the Mankini, the ManCan is a portable keg which can hold up to a gallon of delicious fighting juice. The stainless steel ManCan has a pressure regulating CO2 cartridge and standard keg tap, keeping your beer fizzy and fresh for up to a week…if you’re too much of a soft-arse to drink it all before then.

[$479.00]
The Edgestar Ultra Low Temperature Kegerator and Keg Beer Cooler has such a catchy name I’m surprised it’s not caught on all around the world. However much of a mouthful its moniker may be, that’s nothing compared to the delicious suds of foaming ale which await you with this baby. Perfect for beer enthusiasts who want to play with a kegerator before buying a full commercial unit, this fancy bit of beermaking kit stores up to a standard full size half barrel keg, which is a quarter of my daily alcohol intake.

[$14.75]
Modern society dictates that regular cups, mugs and plates aren’t good enough. We’re eating salads off slates, fries from buckets, and soup from syringes. It won’t be long before we’re all supposed to drink beer from the hollowed out skull of a cat, but until then the nIce Mug will have to do. This kit contains moulds so you can make your own frozen glasses. They sit inside a plastic container, so it’s a mug within a mug, an Inception mug, except less pretentious. They can last between five minutes and half an hour, so drink fast! Not that you had to tell me to do that anyway.

[$600]
The honey you buy in the store is about as pure as Miley Cyrus. It’s mostly sugar syrup with Honey Monster’s jizz thrown in for luck. This Flow Hive is a great option for people who love fresh honey but hate effort. $600 will get you the whole hive and extraction kit including the box, frames and tubing; all you need are some bees. Or do what I do and make maggot honey. It’s horrible but the name sounds funny.