[$15,250]
Justin Timberleaf is my favourite music song guy, and now the clever sod has gone and made a camping trailer to! The Timberleaf Camping Trailer is easily towed by most passenger vehicles and provides a lovely warm place to sleep when you're out camping in the woods stalking your ex-girlfriend. Weighing at under 1,200 pounds, or half a Rosie O'Donnell, the Timberleaf comes equipped with a queen mattress, generous storage space, and a washing station. You know, to wash your lovely portion in.

[$359.99]
Burning things is fun, and it's even more fun with the Solo Stove Bonfire. Why is that, you ask? I don't know, let's find out together shall we? It's made from Premium Fire Grade Steel…oooooh. It burns wood efficiently by pushing the limits of combustion airflow and efficiency….oh my. And what's that, it's also lightweight, eco-friendly and durable too? Well bugger me with an aubergine; that does sound good doesn’t it.

[$699.95] / [£461.65]
If I could live in a cave I would, because with a single entrance and exit point it means I've only got to look in one direction to check my house for monsters. But a neat second-best is the Heimplanet Inflatable Cave Tent, whose revolutionary design allows you to pump up a temporary abode in less than a minute. It's also made from high-quality durable materials, which is good, as getting a puncture in your tent at Glastonbury would be a right pain in the arse. The Heimplanet Cave Tent seats five people in the main chamber and sleeps…well…as many as you're comfortable with. Depends how chummy you wanna get.

[$119.93]
Hammocks would be the greatest invention in mankind's history were it not for the existence of wasps. But this Quarter Dome Air Hammock seeks to thwart those black and yellow bastards once and for all, surrounding you in a bug net and creating a mid-air sleeping area wherever you fancy pitching up. Quick nap between two lampposts? Knock yourself out. 40 winks on the move hooked up to two Thai ladyboys? Not a problem. The nylon fabric offers lightweight, resistant support, and the Dacron anchor lines ensure it won't collapse even if you're a fat bastard. I want one, and I want one yesterday.

[$119.99]
The apocalypse is almost upon us, and when it is, those with durable iron cookwear will truly become kings amongst men. Therefore, unless you'd like to sell your body in exchange for food come the forthcoming end of days, you'd be well advised to purchase this Barebones Cast Iron Kit. There's no f**king about with this lot, it's just a simple set of sturdy, reliable cast iron pans alongside some fancy oil, s**t to serve your grub on and a recipe book on how to gut and fillet a hedgehog. The last part is a lie, but it wouldn't half be useful.

[$675]
Sleeping in a tent on the ground can be dangerous. Who knows what kind of pervert (me) might crawl in and sleep right besides you? Even worse, someone (also me) might come and murder you to shreds. For safety's sake, you'd best buy a Skycamp Elevated Tent to keep you away from harm (me again). Using a simple wooden structure with a built-in picnic table, the Skycamp Elevated Tent raises you above the status of floor-dwellers and back towards the trees where you belong.

[$655] / [£395]
Stand out from the crowd at festivals or camp sites with this refreshing tent design from Field Candy. This roomy watermelon 2 man tent is built to withstand extreme weather conditions to the same high specifications of an expedition tent. 100% waterproof, UV fade resistant and with a breathable inner tent.